Traddysaurus Rex

By the one and only "Johnny Domer"

*The Traddysaurus Rex is a giant carnivorous lizard noted for its love of the Extraordinary Use Liturgy and pretty much anything people were doing like 750 years ago.
It can be distinguished from other wackos by certain readily distinguishable traits: enormous black missals, lacey white chapel veils, scapulars of any kind (Fivefold especially), Bible translations that haven't been revised in like 200 years, carrying around spare volumes of or commentaries on the Summa, arguing about theology in absurd fashions, talking about how "I WISH I could go to a Dominican Rite Mass," an extreme love for the old subdiaconate, marching in front of abortion clinics with signs and rosaries, throwing around the insult "neocon" without quite having a really distinct idea of what it means (other than "bad"), wearing papal tiaras and riding around in the sedia gestatoria, issuing awesome Motu Proprio's, being Polish or Mexican or Italian, and pretty much anything else that's utterly insane and glorious.

The traddysaurus' main prey is the Kumbayocerous, who is known for hitting drums during Mass, long hair, beards, holding hands, strumming guitars, wearing polyester vestments, dancing/prancing around like buffoons, and doing really retarded crap in general. The females of their species can sometimes be seen in pulpits giving homilies. Some of the less extreme males of their species tend to wear tall, pointy hats WAY too often. The Kumbayocerous is in danger of extinction due to old age, fortunately.*

reeeeeeeeeeeee!