Golden Moment

Last post: May 10. One post a month is pretty pathetic. What have I been doing?

Well, let me tell you, the other night I had the craziest dream...

...I dreamed that Golden Tate had decided to abandon us and move out to the West Coast. (Come back, Golden!) So there he was in this snazzy apartment building hanging out with his new buds (what, Golden, we were really not good enough for you?) And his buddy said, "mmmmm you know what I want some maple bars, I'll get you one too." Golden agreed and they went to this doughnut shop that just randomly happens to be in their apartment building.

BUT it was 3:00am and the shop was closed. "No problem," says Golden's friend, "They always leave the back door open," and all of a sudden he's in the store! He brings out several maple bars and he and Golden devour them. Mmmm mmm mmm.

THEN the cops arrive! Golden Tate just stands there with crumbs all over him and says "But they are so irresistible!!"

The cops shrug their shoulders "Don't we know! Trust us, we know the best donuts in town, and boy, you found 'em." So even though they were about to haul Golden off to jail, they wrote him a warning (which I'm pretty sure was actually a note that said "Make sure you grab some for us next time.)

Just when I thought this dream couldn't get any weirder suddenly Pete Carroll comes out of no where! Gosh, I hate Pete Carroll....what a creep...like Reggie Bush...&*#$ Trojans...BUT...here's the kicker (no puns intended) Petie is Golden's coach! WOAH! WHAT?


Pete mumbles something about Irish $#*! and then "I'm not disappointed in the guy being at a doughnut shop when they've got maple bars like Top Pot has...However, under the circumstances ... I think they were closed, or something like that, or they were trying to close. So that's definitely wrong, and we've talked about it and addressed it. And he's most remorseful. But I do understand the allure of the maple bars.....they are soooooo good....irresistible! Oh yes, they CAN be irresistible. Golden, did you get some for me too?"

Golden then handed him a bag of doughnuts and promised that he'd pay for them the next time.


Then I realized the TRUTH behind Charlie's weight problem...he'd taught his players to get him doughnuts at all times of the day at all costs.

Watch out Pete! (Not that I really care about you or your weight)


It was the wackiest dream I'd had in a really long time...


...oh wait. That wasn't a dream. That ACTUALLY HAPPENED and it's one of the sports headlines in practically every paper.

Oy.


Good job, Golden.




PS I just found the 911 call
Apparently Golden's buddy actually stole a night baker's keys to get back in, but Golden brought the keys back to her.

Sunday Brunch Conversations 1

"The Children of Mary concession stand went really well...Fr. Gallager came out and blessed the stand...he used the old book of blessings...so it went: 'Bless, Oh Lord, this Thy creature bratwurst...'"

photo cred: Myself, Oct 06 - The OBC Concession Stand '06 which also featured in the brunch conversation as both stands had the Bond Hall location.

The Divine Office: Season 1, Episode 3

Fr. Erickson counsels a couple who thinks they're ready for marriage. They're not.

Little Lessons

Because my friends are crazy - a brand new on-line show: The Divine Office.

The show was first inspired by this hilarity:



"Fr. Erickson delivers his weekly lecture to the girls of St. Francis de Sales Catholic High School. This week's topic: chastity. Feel free to listen in! It'll make you miss the '40's."

Apparently I'm a pretty bad student!

I'll post the subsequent episodes over the next couple days.

Focus on ME!

So my blog reader has gotten really backlogged since I've been running around adjusting to a new job, house, life, etc. I decided to start reading through some of the older posts as a way to drown my sorrows after that loss to MSU. Over at the The Lair of the Catholic Cavemen is an excellent parody.
Go check it out! Be sure to watch the video first if you aren't familiar with Toby Keith's song "I Wanna Talk About Me."

To Charlie, From The Pope

(click to enlarge)
Oh clever, clever grad student! Good job Joey. - I hope the Observer takes it!
HT to Paul.

For those of you who don't know what's going on: read this.

If only!

Generate a Barack Obama Quote!

"I think it's time we had a national conversation about heterodoxy. We need to get past all the gather hymnals and recognize that we are our own best hope for overcoming bongo drums. We need maniples , not heretics. Maniples are our sanctity. And we need to have change in heterodoxy."
Generate your Barack Obama quote at Buttafly.com

I BELIEVE IN MANIPLES!



If only he did too.


More like Johnny Domer runs for president

HT to Thornie and thanks to Gianna for playing Mad Libs with me on this one :-)

Alternate versions supplied by the generator:

"These people haven't had sanctity for fifty years. So you can't be surprised if they get bitter and cling to their gather hymnals and their heretics and their bongo drums. That's what my campaign is about. Teaching all the little people in this country that they can have maniples."

"You know, there's a lot of talk in this country about heterodoxy. Well I think Americans are tired of the same old gather hymnals. Ordinary Americans believe in maniples , they want less heretics, they just aren't sure if their leaders believe in sanctity."

Liturgical Laundry

Gianna emailed the Pious Sodality of Church Ladies tonight to make sure we had seen Fr. Z's post on the awesome forthcoming publication from Angelus Press about liturgical laundry

"All the various common linens are presented with descriptions of what they are for and what they might mean, for example in the case of the symbolic meaning of the amice, a vestment the priest uses during Mass.

"There are clear directions and also step by step drawings for how to fold the linens, which is very important, especially in the case of a corporal, which has the function of capturing particles of the Host which might have been missed.

Here is what we find on the contents page:

i Quick Reference Chart
ii The Purificator
iii The Corporal
iv The Pall
v The Lavabo Towel
vi The Amice
vii A Few Guidelines and Tips
viii Altar Linens
ix Glossary
ix Notes page

This little book provides a bit of direction for those ladies who are so generous
helping Holy Mother Church (and her sacristans) with laundering,
ironing, and mending."

Oh it looks like the most fantastic Pious Women Guide ever! I can't wait!

For your enjoyment, the conversation re this news:

Gianna: did you see that email I sent about the laundry guide?
Me: Yessss
Gianna: ahh, Angelus Press...
Me: it's really a wonderful thing, even if slightly schismatic on a bad day
Gianna: hey, laundry is laundry ;-P
Me: Oh no! Not Schismatic Laundry!! haha
Gianna: the scandal!!
Me: Terrible: "Excuse me ma'am, but I believe that chasuble just questioned the authority of the pope"
Gianna: ROFL

If anyone wants to get that little book for me when it comes out in July, let me know. Maybe I'll set up some starving-recent-college-grad Paypal donation button or Amazon Wishlist or something. Haha


I mean after all, THIS should never happen!

Quotes of the Summer - Part I

People say the funniest things...most of the time it's unintended....we hope.

________________________________________

The first one requires a little back story:
The last two Stanley Cup Playoff games have been held in Pittsburgh. All the Pens fans wear all white. It's kind of strange to see...

Sister: "Ugh! Look at all those white people!"
*dead silence and stares from family members*
Sister: "I mean SHIRTS. WHITE SHIRTS!"
Dad: "Well, they are probably all white people too."

________________________________________

Brother (following conversation about organic foods): "Mom, can we make a cow?"
Sister: "Get a cow?"

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Mom (regarding this post): "You clearly have nothing better to do. Go wash the floor."

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Feel free to share your own favorite flubs. :-)