I'm sitting here at one of the quieter offices (now that I said that 5 women will walk in) eating my lunch and just trying to sort somethings out in three major areas: 1) Women, Men, Childbearing, Family Life (or the unfortunate lack thereof), 2) The Catholicity of Notre Dame and the rest of the world, and 3) the practical planning aspects of the wedding that still need to be taken care of. My head's going to explode if I keep on keeping it all in there. So here, you all can see what you think...
Justice gone Awry
A little over a week ago, Karlo posted this article. I just got around to reading it today. Karlo's comments are great, but I thought I'd add a few of my own.
Sad as it is, I'm not shocked. It still makes me want to cry, but work has taught me that this young woman's attitude is not uncommon. And how much sadder is that? How sad it is that we can set aside one child and say "I'm focusing on the child I’ll have in a few years from now with someone I feel safe with and supported by. The life of that child will be infinitely better than this one," as did this woman.
I hear it all the time at work from the women I counsel. If it's not one reason, it's another. Many of these women are not "dehumanizing" their children in the sense of not recognizing them as human. But many have just fallen into a warped concept of justice.
I would love to hear someone else identify this problem as such: a warped concept of justice.
That's exactly what it is.
"I deserve better. My baby deserves better."
"No I'm choosing abortion because I can't adopt, I'd never adopt - because my baby deserves to have me parent, but I can't parent."
or like the girl in the article:
"I'm focusing on the child I’ll have in a few years from now with someone I feel safe with and supported by. The life of that child will be infinitely better than this one."
Right? Planned Parenthood's mantra of "so that every child is wanted and loved." Because kids deserve the best, right?
But next to this heresy of sorts, there's the problem of brokeness that torments so many. And how interesting it is that even her rationalized, "hopefully" statement of resolution, that women in the article can't hide her own wounds:
"The life of that child will be infinitely better than this one and, sometimes, I wonder if such a miserable, lonely woman could even have a healthy child."
In the same breath, barely separated by two commas and a "sometimes," there they are, side by side: twisted justice and the brokeness of the mother.
I don't know what can be done about changing these problem on the large scale, but I know that I can try to work on women individually as they come in for their pregnancy tests. It's not an easy task.
Men, your role in this is huge - most important than any media source would have you believe.
It's ridiculous how few men accompany their girlfriends, wives, babymommas, etc, to our office. Why? Why do they just not seem to care one way or the other?
Perhaps this topic ought to be left for another time. Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
This summer, until wedding time, I'm living with my dear friend Chris who's getting married exactly (to the hour!) a week after me. So simple math:
1 bride + 1 bride + 1 house = wedding central
It's a joy to be sharing these last few weeks of maidenhood (what a great concept no one thinks of anymore) with each other!
There was a little concern at first that we'd both turn Bridezilla and be at each other's throats, but actually it's better than any other living arrangement I could have imagined.
I still have a terrible amount of work left to do for the wedding. My dress still doesn't exist. The reception finally has a location, but the food is a giant question mark. The rehearsal dinner...wait...there's a rehearsal dinner?? Yeah. Not planned.
I need to get to work...yes, that's right, because I have less than 5 weeks!