Well, let me tell you, the other night I had the craziest dream...
...I dreamed that Golden Tate had decided to abandon us and move out to the West Coast. (Come back, Golden!) So there he was in this snazzy apartment building hanging out with his new buds (what, Golden, we were really not good enough for
you?) And his buddy said, "mmmmm you know what I want some maple bars, I'll get you one too." Golden agreed and they went to this doughnut shop that just randomly happens to be in their apartment building. BUT it was 3:00am and the shop was closed. "No problem," says Golden's friend, "They always leave the back door open," and all of a sudden he's in the store! He brings out several maple bars and he and Golden devour them. Mmmm mmm mmm.
THEN the cops arrive! Golden Tate just stands there with crumbs all over him and says "But they are so irresistible!!"
The cops shrug their shoulders "Don't we know! Trust us, we know the best donuts in town, and boy, you found 'em." So even though they were about to haul Golden off to jail, they wrote him a warning (which I'm pretty sure was actually a note that said "Make sure you grab some for us next time.)
Just when I thought this dream couldn't get any weirder suddenly Pete Carroll comes out of no where! Gosh, I hate Pete Carroll....what a creep...like Reggie Bush...&*#$ Trojans...BUT...here's the kicker (no puns intended) Petie is Golden's coach! WOAH! WHAT?
Pete mumbles something about Irish $#*! and then "I'm not disappointed in the guy being at a doughnut shop when they've got maple bars like Top Pot has...However, under the circumstances ... I think they were closed, or something like that, or they were trying to close. So that's definitely wrong, and we've talked about it and addressed it. And he's most remorseful. But I do understand the allure of the maple bars.....they are soooooo good....irresistible! Oh yes, they CAN be irresistible. Golden, did you get some for me too?"
Golden then handed him a bag of doughnuts and promised that he'd pay for them the next time.
Then I realized the TRUTH behind Charlie's weight problem...he'd taught his players to get him doughnuts at all times of the day at all costs.
Watch out Pete! (Not that I really care about you or your weight)
It was the wackiest dream I'd had in a really long time...
...oh wait. That wasn't a dream. That ACTUALLY HAPPENED and it's one of the sports headlines in practically every paper.
Oy.
Good job, Golden.
PS I just found the 911 call
Apparently Golden's buddy actually stole a night baker's keys to get back in, but Golden brought the keys back to her.
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3 comments:
That's bizarre. But I can tell you, if there were a worthy setting for maple --- ah, the generous and noble maple --- a doughnut is a fine thing to maple indeed! mmmm...
Oh, and ...
tag!
you're It!
My grandparents lived in Bellevue, which somehow makes this more funny for me. I remember it as a quiet suburb but it's gotten quite posh in recent years, which I suppose is why Golden Tate has chosen to make it his stomping grounds.
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