It's about time! I finished all my academic obligations this afternoon and am currently so worn out I could fall asleep on the keyboard.
Break means that I'll have time to post substantial entries again!
In the meantime, in honor of the beginning of spring break and my journey home I'm going to post one of those forwarded emails I was just sent today. Yeah, most of it is actually pretty true
Oh how I love my home
For those who are from
still live there, have traveled there,
and/or plan to travel through there in the future...
First, you must learn to pronounce the city name.
It is Bawl-mer, or Ball-da-more,
depending on whether you live North or South of Route 40.
Next, if your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one.
If you live near
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.
"Hold on and pray."
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in
All directions start with "The Beltway"... which has no beginning and no end.
The morning rush hour is from to
The evening rush hour is from to
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
When you are the first one on the starting line at a light, count to five when the light turns green before moving ahead to avoid crashing with all five of the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.
However, if you don't go as soon as it turns green, you will get the horn...
Construction on I-97 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment Interesting that it's called "an Interstate," but runs only from the Beltway to
Opening in 1992, it has been torn up and under reconstruction ever since. (Does former Governor Glendening have any relatives who build highways?)
All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in GLIMBURNIE! (
All old ladies with blue hair in Buicks have the right of way. Period!
And the same goes for all old men wearing hats!!!
All roads mysteriously change their names as you cross intersections (
If asking directions in
If you stop to ask directions in
A trip across town (north to south) will take a minimum of four hours, although the tunnel does have
on occasion, more than one lane open, but never on holiday weekends.
The minimum acceptable speed on the Beltway is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissified.
The Beltway is our daily version of NASCAR.
If you drive to a football game, pay the $75.00 to park in the "Ravens
If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard during Preakness, run over him. It's probably not his yard, anyway.
WELCOME TO BAWLMER, HON